Naruto Randomness
by animal.cracker.assassinator
Summary: Team 7 and Team 9 34 end up coming together to try to make a peace treaty. What happens when the characters are making each other go crazy?Nothing to do with Harry Potter
1. Chapter 1

**HERE IS A STORY PB AND I WROTE TOGETHER!!!**

It was a normal day in the Hidden Leaf Village, and Team 7 was waiting for their sensei. As usual, Kakashi-sensei was late.

Naruto: WHERE THE HELL IS HE!!! He's later than normal!

Sasuke glares at the blond idiot and Sakura goes up and hits him on the head.

Sakura: SHUT UP BAKA!!

Naruto sits down and starts to pout. All the sudden…

Shikamaru: Look! Up in the clouds!

Everyone looks at Shikamaru like he's crazy. Naruto jumps up.

Naruto: IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, IT'S…IT'S…

Three ninja fall out of the sky, landing on Chouji. It wasn't your normal team; there were two girls and one boy.

The first girl stands up. She has shoulder length platinum blond hair, brilliant blue eyes, and a perfect figure. She was wearing a lavender tube top and miniskirt, with hot pink biker shorts and fishnets. She screams…

PB: WHERE'S KAKASHI!!!

The second girl stands up. She had mid back length sandy blond hair, dull blue-grey eyes, and has an athletic build. She is wearing a dark red, sleeveless corset like shirt, with a black sports bra underneath. She had on a mid-thigh, black skirt with slits on both sides and mahogany biker shorts. Walking up to her friend she yells…

Jam: I told you he wouldn't be here yet! We have to wait until he tells his team about us!

Finally the boy stands up. He has shaggy, blood red hair, light green eyes, and has an athletic build. He is wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt with the letters ACA across the front and baggy black pants. He seems to be getting annoyed and speaks…

Klipton: Shut up.

The two girls immediately quiet. Out of nowhere Kakashi appears behind Team 7 and says…

Kakashi: Oh I see you have met Team 9¾…

Team 7 all turns around and scream in high girly voices, PB just faints. Team 7 finally quiets down enough for Kakashi to continue.

Kakashi: Okay well, I guess you haven't introduced yourselves. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, I would like you to meet Klipton, PB, and Jam.

Naruto jumps up and exclaims…

Naruto: Wait! PB and Jam…that sounds familiar…

PB: Yeah, you must have heard of us, we're like the greatest ninja's of like all time!

Naruto:…no that's not it, I was thinking more of a sandwich…

Jam: Yeah, people tend to know more about that than us…

Naruto: But you girls are still really HOT!!!

PB and Jam look at each other and Jam just hits her head with her hand, PB on the other hand…

PB: EWWWWWWWW!!! I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU!!!

Meanwhile Sasuke and Klipton seem to be having a glaring contest. Kakashi says…

Kakashi: Okay, you do understand you are on a mission to try to untie our villages, so DON'T KILL EACH OTHER!! See ya…

The copy-ninja disappears and Team 7 is now stuck with the crazy Team 9¾.

Now that Kakashi is gone Sakura decides to question these fabulous, but crazy ninja…

Sakura: So where are you from? Wait, with clothes like those you must be from the Hidden Village Under a Rock!

PB did the Z snap and looked at Jam saying…

PB: OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!

Jam, angry about Sakura's comment says…

Jam: No, actually, we're from the Hidden Village in the Clouds. If. You. Must. Know. Oh and only ninja with absolutely perfect chakra control can live there.

Sakura, feeling dissed snaps back…

Sakura: Yeah, well at least guys down here are hot…with the exception of a few-cough-lee-naruto-chouji-kabuto-orochimaru-jiriaha-kankuro-cough-…

Klipton glares and PB exclaims…

PB: WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING SA-

Jam puts her hand up and distracts PB's train of thought. She walks up to Sakura while pointing at Sasuke and grits through her teeth…

Jam: Listen up! First, if you think Duck-Butt over there is hot, then I recommend you getting some glasses! Second, you've never been to the Hidden Village in the Clouds, so you can't diss our guys! And Finally, I wouldn't try to make any of us angry, and especially Klipton, 'cause you don't know what type of butt-whippin you're gonna get!

Sakura, now trembling in fear of Jam, even Inner Sakura was frightened. But Sakura was still ready to diss PB, but PB had already smacked her across the face before she could say anything.

Naruto was extremely fascinated by the cat-fight and didn't notice that Klipton and Sasuke had 'mysteriously' disappeared. As Naruto is making a difficult decision about which girl to cheer for, Jam comes and sits next to him. Sakura and PB continued the fight without even noticed Jam was gone.

Jam: Naruto, why the hell do you like Sakura? She doesn't like you, and probably never will. I happen to know someone who is head over heels for you…

Naruto: Wait, are you saying you like me?

Jam hits her head with hand repeatedly…

Jam: NO YOU IDIOT!!! I was talking about someone else…

Naruto thinks Jam is talking about PB and smiles and says…

Naruto: Oh, I think I know who you are talking about…

Jam: Wow that was a surprise; I would never have guessed you knew about her crush on you. Maybe you should ask her out, I bet she would just faint.

Naruto: Okay well then you and your team should join me, Sakura and Teme at the hot springs later.

Jam: Sure, but I personally don't care for mixed bathing.

Naruto looks disappointed, but then brightens up when he is hit with an idea (strange, yes)…

Naruto: Oh well we can get baths right next to each other, in separate pools I mean…

Jam: Ugh, fine. I guess that is better than being in the same pool. Wait so when are we going?

Naruto: Tomorrow.

Jam nods and gets up to try to remove PB from Sakura. When that is finally done, Sakura looks around and asks…

Sakura: Where's Sasuke-kun?!

PB: Hey, Where'd Klipton go?

A high pitched girly scream is heard off in the distance. Jam sighs and says…

Jam: This can't be good…

Sakura: Yeah, not good for Klipton!

PB: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Another cat-fight starts and Jam and Naruto separate them. Jam says…

Jam: Let's go before Sasuke gets killed…

Jam and PB start running off before Sakura can protest. Sakura talks as they run…

Sakura: Sasuke-kun can't lose…

Naruto:…he's got Sharingan…

Sakura:…he's super smart…

Naruto:…no one has beat him…

Sakura:…he's super strong…

Naruto:…he has a goal that he won't give up on…

Sakura:…he's super shmexy!

Everyone stops and stares at Sakura, until another girly scream cries out, and they start moving again.

They reach the training grounds and they see Klipton ready to stab Sasuke, who is passed out. Klipton notices them and stops.

Sakura / Naruto: SASUKE-KUN/ SASUKE!!!

Sakura: We have to take him home!

We all end up taking turns dragging Sasuke's butt to the Uchiha Mansion. The door is locked, and Sakura pulls out a key from nowhere. Jam snickers…

Jam: Stalker…

They open the door and Klipton and Naruto carry Sasuke upstairs to his room. Jam notices a familiar chakra in the house and blushes when her name is called…

Itachi: Hey Jam…

Jam: Hey Itachi-kun

Sakura stares at the normally composed, never blushing Jam, blush so easily under the stare of Itachi. Sakura asks…

Sakura: Hey PB, why is Jam blushing?

PB: Oh that's easy! Jam has the biggest cru-

PB was cut off when Klipton was suddenly behind her with his hand over her mouth, and he whispered in her ear…

Klipton: If you tell Sakura, Jam will not only kill you for telling, but she will kill me for letting you slip, and then I will have to resurrect you so I can personally kill you.

PB nodded understanding and said…

PB: Hey Jam, Sakura, why don't we go and like paint our nails!

Sakura: Why?

Jam: Sure! Let's go!

Itachi: Hey just don't use all my nail polish this time.

PB and Jam: OKIE-DOKIE-ARTIE-CHOKIE!

PB and Jam Dragged Sakura up the stairs and down the hall, they reached the bathroom, and they heard and noise coming from it. Jam bravely took the door knob and swung the door open. All three girls screamed, their eyes burned! Kisame was sitting in the tub playing with a rubber duck and singing…

Kisame: You're my rubber ducky! You're my bestest buddy!

The girls quickly shut the door, with that memory that was going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Kisame thought he felt a draft and looked up; no one was there, so he continued with his song.

**Okay well I hope you liked our first chapter of our story that we have made together! **

**REVIEW AND TELL US HOW YOU LIKED IT!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Jam: Okay well I know that the last chapter could have had more detail and better explanation, but I didn't realize this until ****after**** I posted it.**

**PB: Jam I told you to add more detail…**

**Jam: No you didn't! You were to busy painting you nails!**

**PB: Oh ya… okay lets continue.**

All the boys, with the exception of Sasuke and Kisame, ran to see what the problem was. When they got there all three girls were rolling on the floor screaming "MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Naruto shouted…

Naruto: Are you OKAY?!?!

Jam: MY EYES!!

Sakura: THEY BURN!!

PB: PUDDING!!

Jam and Sakura shot up forgetting their pain and the guys looked at PB. Everyone said "Pudding what the…" Then PB's stomach growled REALLY LOUD and everyone sweat dropped.

Naruto grabbed PB's hand and they were out the door screaming "LET'S GO GET RAMEN!!!"

Itachi: Sorry Jam, Sakura, but I forgot to tell you Kisame was here.

Klipton: What happened?

Sakura: The silent man, HE SPEAKS!

Jam: Duh he speaks! Now let's show them what happened-evil grin-

Sakura: Okay!

Sakura opens the door and both Sakura and Jam close their eyes. A few moments later the door is shut and both guys are standing there trying to scratch out their eyes.

Itachi: That was worse than being trapped in my own Sharingan!

Klipton: Where's my axe? I need to cut my eyes out!

Sakura: NO! Klipton! Don't do it!

She screeched as she tackled him. Jam twitched. Itachi stifled a chuckle. Kisame came out of the bathroom and shouted "What the…" Which woke up Sasuke who came down the stairs and shouted "SAKURA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" This made Sakura blush and Klipton want to kill the Uchiha.

Sakura: I was only trying to save him from clawing his eyes out…

Jam: -evil grin- RIGHT…we all know you really wanna go help revive Klipton's clan…

Naruto and PB walk back in carrying a HUGE bag of skittles…

Naruto: WAIT! YOU WANNA REVIVE BOTH SASUKE'S AND KLIPTON'S CLAN!!!!!

Jam: ARE THOSE SKITTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naruto: Yeah, why…

Jam pounces on Naruto screaming…

Jam: GIVE ME THE SKITTTLES AND I SHALL SPARE YOU THE HUMILIATION OF LOSING TO MY AHH-MAZINGNESS AND MY AHH-MAZING SWORD!!!

Naruto: AHHHHHH!!! Get the crazy lady off me!!!

Kisame: -jumping up and down like an excited 6 year old- OOO I wanna see your sword!!! I wanna see your sword!!!

Jam: AH HA! MY SKITTLES!!!! Oh okay –pulls out a summoning scroll- summon blade of pain!

A sword, seeming to be made out of diamond shaped plates of steel, appears in front of Jam and she grabs it. Everyone else was like o.O

Kisame: Blade of pain? That's not a cool name.

Jam: Well, I guess I will need to demonstrate its ahh-mazingness then. Kisame, I want you to hit my sword as hard as you can with your own.

Kisame: -grinning- Okay. –hits Jam's sword as hard as he could-

Naruto: Nothing happened!

PB: Just give it a moment…

Seconds later Kisame's sword exploded into millions of pieces.

Kisame: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Jam: Okay, now to continue with my demonstration –jabs sword into wall-

Sasuke and Itachi: Hey! What are you doing?!?!

Klipton: Just wait…

Jam breaks her own sword. Everyone is like o.O

Jam: Now watch…-infuses chakra with sword and it grows back-

Naruto gang is like **o.O**

Klipton and PB: SHE'S NOT DONE WITH HER DEMONSTRATION YET!!!

Jam: Thanks, now…-places hand on blade-…Duplicate!

Now there are two swords Naruto gang does nothing…

Jam: Yeah well I can actually fuse these together with my chakra by the handle and duplicate it again and fuse those together to create an even deadlier weapon…but I'm not going too…-throws sword in the air and it disappears and grabs the Skittles again-…Now if you excuse me, I am off to go eat Skittles…-runs into nearest room and locks door-

Naruto gang: What the—

Klipton and PB: That's not good…

Naruto: WHAT'S NOT GOOD?!?!

Sakura: -hitting Naruto on the head- It's obvious, isn't it!

Itachi: O.O –runs to door Jam just went in- Jam! Come on and open the door! I want to talk to you!

Jam: -on other side of door- YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! HAHAHA!!!! WAIT! IS THAT ITACHI?! –opens door and drags him in, relocking the door-

Everyone still in the hall: WHAT THE—

Loud crashes and other noises are coming from behind the closed door. No one was worried until they heard thumping and a REALLY LOUD moan.

Sasuke: HOLY!!! Itachi better not be screwing around with Jam!

Kisame: Score for Itachi!!!

Sakura: Wait! Are you saying you care about Jam more than ME?!?!

PB: Sakura stop PMSing.

Sakura: Why I otta!!

The noises stop and the door finally opens. Jam is standing there with ripped clothes and is stuffing her face with Skittles.

Sasuke: -cracking knuckles- Did he do anything to you?

Jam: -staring confused at Sasuke- He took my—

Kisame: SCORE FOR ITACHI!!!

Naruto: OMG! He took your soul and is going to devoured it so that he can live forever!!!!!

Jam: -even more confused- No… he took my—

Sakura: He took your future dreams of becoming the greatest medic-nin ever away!!!

Jam: -not only confused but now also angry- No… he took my—

Klipton and PB roll eyes at the freaking out Uchiha.

Sasuke: MY BROTHER STOLE YOU VIRGINITY!!!

Jam: WHAT THE--! No! He took my Skittles!!

Naruto gang: HUH?!?!

Itachi walked out of room holding his side and limping.

Itachi: You idiots! Jam gets sugar high REALLY easily, so I tried to get the Skittles from her, but when I did she became mentally unstable and attacked me for them, hence why I know need to be healed!

Jam: OMG ITACHI!!! I AM SOOOOO SORRY!!! HERE LET ME HEAL YOU…

Klipton and PB: NOOOO!!!!

Jam: AND WHY NOT?!?!

Klipton and PB: You might accidentally kill him!

Jam: OHHH! WELL THEN, I AM OFF TO FIND LEE AND RUN 100 TIMES AROUND THE VILLAGE, THEN OFF TO SPAR TENTEN AND NEJI AT THE SAME TIME! THEN I AM GONNA GO TAKE AKAMARU ON A WALK AND FLIRT WITH KIBA AND INSULT SHINO AND GIVE HINATA A MAKEOVER! THEN I WILL GO CHALLENGE CHOUJI TO AN EATING CONTEST AND SHIKIMARU AT GO AND WIN, AND GO INSULT INO! WHEN I AM DONE WITH THAT I AM GONNA GO PRETEND TO OFFER JIRIAHA HELP THEN LEAVE BEFORE ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AND STEAL KAKASHI'S MASK AND THEN SPRINT TO SUNA AND HANG WITH TEMARI AND MAKE FUN OF KANKURO'S DOLLS AND START MAKING OUT WITH GAARA AND HOPE I MAKE IT BACK HERE ALIVE BY MIDNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone including Klipton and PB, and even Gai who jumped through the window: BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Jam: OH AND I WILL ALSO MAKE IT BACK WITHOUT BEING HARMED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!!!!

Gai: I admire your youth! But I am sorry to say, even I cannot do that!

Jam: YES BUT YOU ALSO AREN'T SHMEXY LIKE ME!!!! BYE GOTTA GO!!!!

Sakura: Did she just call herself 'shmexy'?

Naruto: Speaking of Gaara, Klipton, why do you look so much like him?

Klipton: Well let me get out the diagram –pulls diagram out of nowhere- Okay well my mother and Gaara's mother are sisters –points to diagram- and they both had red hair and green eyes. They both got married and had children –points to Gaara's side- Gaara's mom had 3 children: Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara. –points to Klipton's side- My mother had 2 children: my older sister Jilly and me. Does that make sense –puts diagram away-

Naruto gang nods

Naruto: Soooo is Jilly shmexy?

Klipton: You touch her and you die!

Sakura: -with hearts in her eyes- Klipton you are sooo caring

All the sudden they here Lee crying and Tenten and Neji cussing, then Akamaru can be heard barking and Kiba cat whistle and Shino's bugs buzz in annoyance.

Sasuke: Wow that was fast -smirk-

Sakura: NOO! I am torn between my two loves!!!

Sasuke: Go with Klipton, he's nicer…

Sakura: But you saying that makes you nice!

Klipton: Um, well, I am gonna go, um…LOOK THERE GOES JAM WITH KAKASHI'S MASK!!!

Everyone looks over as Jam runs past window with a mask less Kakashi running after her. Sakura and PB sigh and get hearts in there eyes, so does Kisame.

Sakura, PB and Kisame: He's so GORGEOUS!!!

Everyone: -stares at Kisame- WHAT THE—

Itachi: Yes I gotta a recording of that!

Kisame: HOW?!

Itachi: If I told you, I might have to kill you.

Naruto: Wait isn't Suna a 3 day trip from here?

PB: Naruto, if you travel by clouds you make it in a half an hour, and that's if you walk.

Klipton: Do you have any edible food here?

Sasuke: We have tomatoes…

Naruto: NO RAMEN!!!

Itachi: It's okay, I made pizza.

Sakura and PB: YEAH PIZZA!!!!

-1 hour later-

Everyone has finished eating and the door crashes open.

Jam: Hey guys! I'm back! I brought friends! –Temari, Kankuro, Gaara and another girl walks in- Hope ya don't mind!

Naruto: GAARA!!! –runs to go give him a hug-

Jam: NO HE'S MINE!!!! –PUSHES Naruto away-

Kisame: Who's the new girl?

The girl has mid back light brown hair, dark brown eyes, and is thin. She is wearing a red tank top with a black mini skirt and black biker shorts.

Jam: This is my sister Jelly!

Jelly: Hello my peeps! –a small dog appears behind her- Oh and this is my dog Honey!

Sakura: Wait so let me get this straight. Jam and Jelly are sisters and they have a dog named Honey, and one of their friends name is PB.

Klipton: I know confusing right, especially when Jilly is around, and then it's hectic.

Jelly: Hey sis, where are we staying?

Jam: Oh yeah where are we staying?

PB: I don't know!

Temari: Where are we staying?

Sasuke: Jam, you guys can stay here.

Gaara: I am staying with Jam. –glares at Sasuke-

Temari: Okay well I am off to go find Shika-kun! -disappears-

Kankuro: I am gonna go follow her and beat him up if anything happens to her -disappears-

Itachi: Gaara, you and your siblings can stay here if you refuse to leave Jam.

Sasuke: -glares at Itachi- fine…

Jam: YEAH!!! –runs and gives Itachi a hug, and then one to Sasuke- you're not half bad Sas'gay'.

Sasuke frowns and Gaara and Itachi smirk. Gaara notices the condition of the house.

Gaara: Care to fill me in on what happened.

PB: Well…

X 1 hour later X

Gaara: -cough- glad I asked…

Jelly: YOU LET JAM HAVE SKITTLES!!!!

Naruto: -saying while shrinking away-…not…my…fault

Sakura: Jelly calm down, Jam's okay.

Jelly: UGH, NO FAIR! I WANTED SKITTLES!-stomps off to her room-

Jam: There is no way she gets any Skittles, she is worse than I am!

Naruto gang nods their heads.

Sasuke: Jam, let me show you to your room.

Itachi: It's okay, I got it –starts walking down the hall, Jam, Gaara, and Kisame following-

Sakura: you can show me my room Sasuke-kun!

PB: What about me and Klipton and Naruto?!

Sasuke: I'll show Klipton and Naruto their rooms, Sakura, PB, go catch up to Itachi; he'll show you the way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jam: First off I want to say I am really sorry it has taken so long to update!! Forgive me!! Okay well we got a review from Nancy and she asked about Jilly and Jelly. Well Jilly is Klipton's sister, and Jelly is my sister, and she chose her own name by the way.**

**Jelly: Yup that's my name!!**

**PB: Now to continue!!**

Chapter 3

The next day everyone, and I mean everyone, went to the hot springs. There was: Jam, Jelly, PB, Klipton, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Itachi, Kisame, Lee, Gai, Tenten, Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Jiriyha, Kakashi, and even Jilly showed up.

Jilly has mid-back, golden red hair, and bright green eyes and has a feminine figure. She wears a green tank top with black basketball shorts.

Jilly, Jelly, PB, Sakura, Ino, and Tenten:-shouting at Jam- WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE IN A CONJOINED BATH!!!!

Hinata had fainted at the news and Temari was used to guys, hence why they didn't yell.

Jam:-shrinking- It wasn't my fault, you should have seen Naruto's face, and I didn't think everyone was going to come.

All 6 girls: BUT JIRIYHA IS IN THERE!!!

Jam:-smirking- Yeah, but so are Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Itachi, Lee, Kiba, Kisame, and Gaara.

Ino: Yeah but so are Gai, Kankuro, Choji and Jiriyha!!

Temari:-getting annoyed- Pros outnumber the Cons, now lets GO!!!

All the girls were in the hot spring in a flash. The guys didn't even notice they came in until they got hit with the splash. The girls all stayed over on one side, and the guys were trying to get them to move.

Kisame: Hey Ladies! Why are you all over there?

Jiriyha: Come on over!

Kankuro: You know you want to!

Gai: Come and shower us with your youthful presence.

The girls all backed away farther and the other guys sighed.

Kakashi: They can come over if they want, but don't force them.

PB: KAKASHI-KUN!!!!-went over and sat next to him-

Sasuke: Hey J-

Ino: SASUKE-KUN!!-went over and sat next to him-

Naruto and Kiba went over and sat next to Hinata, Jelly and Tenten went and sat next to Neji, Sakura went and sat next to Klipton, Temari went next to Shikamaru, Jilly stayed where she was, and Jam went and sat in between Gaara and Itachi. Everyone started to chat.

Kisame:-whining- Jaaaam, don't you want to sit next to me!!

Jam: Of course I do, but I don't have anymore sides.

Kisame:-smirking- You can always sit on my lap.

The bath went eerily silent. Flames were in Jams eyes.

Jam:-glaring a death glare that could put Gaara to shame- I dare you to say that again!

Kisame:…

Jam: That's what I thought! I'm leaving!

Jam was about to get out when she realized she would have to get out naked to get a towel, in front of everyone. So instead she went and sat down next to Jilly.

Hinata: N-Neji, why is your Byakagan activated?

Eveyone looked at Neji.

Neji: Umm…

Tenten and Jelly: PERVERT!!!-whacking him on the head-

Naruto: Gaara, what's with the third eye -pointing behind Jam and Jilly-

Gaara:-death glare-

Jam: GAARA!!!-runs at him fist full of chakra-

It got really quiet and all the guys eyes got big and they fell under the water due to a major nose bleed.

Jam: WHAT THE-looks down- OH SHIT!-gets out, grabs towel, and runs-

All girls copy her as the guys still haven't recovered from their nosebleed.

xXxXx

Later that day…

PB: Come on Jam open the door!

Jam: No way am I ever coming out of here!

Jelly: Jam if you come out I will give you 5 dol…wait never mind.

Jilly: Come on Jam!

Jam: NO!!

Sasuke: Come on, you have a nice body.

Jam: EWWW GO AWAY PERVERT!! –door opens slightly and heavy brick comes flying at his head-

Itachi: Sasuke stop harassing her!

Gaara: Jam open up.

Jam: NEVER!!!

Klipton: I have animal crackers.

Jam: ANIMAL CRACKERS!!! –opens door and flys out of room and tackles Klipton- GIVE ME THE ANIMAL CRACKERS!!!

Sakura: Oh great crazy is out.

Naruto: Yeah! Jam! –gives huge hug-

Jam:…can't…breath…

Naruto: Sorry

Sasuke: Why did animal crackers get her out?

Jam: 'Cause I like to assassinate them! –munches off animal crackers head-

Kakashi:-poping out of nowhere- Oh I see you got her out of her room -giggle- have you worked out a peace treaty yet?

PB: KAKASHI!!!-jumps on him-

Klipton: We're working on it.

Kakashi: Good, maybe we can go to the hot springs again –cough, eyes Jam, cough- that would be fun.

Jam: EEP!! –runs back into room locking it-

Naruto: Nice job Kakashi!

Kakashi: Wait can't Gaara just transport himself in her room?

Gaara: I could…if I wanted a broken nose.

Sasuke: Wait your sand doesn't block her?

Gaara: No…

Kankuro: -popping in- Yeah how else would they get it on, wink wink nudge nudge hint hint.

Jam: -opening door and chasing Kankuro- KANKURO YOU TEME!! YOUR GONNA DIE!!

Gaara: RUN KANKURO! SAVE YOURSELF IF YOU CAN!

Sakura: Why did you say that?

Gaara: Well…

Naruto: Jam scares him!

Rest of gang: WHAT!?!?!?

Gaara: -death glare-

Itachi: She scares me too.

Sasuke: TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!!

Itachi: Ahh, but it is.

Jam:-far away in the distance- KISAME GET OUT OF THE WAY OR YOU WILL DIE TOO!!

Kisame: NO NOT THE SWORD!!!

PB, Klipton, Jilly, and Jelly: Oh shit!!

All run to go save the poor souls who tried to get away with mocking Jam. They get there to find them gagged and tied to chairs with Jam holding sharp shrukin and wearing a blindfold.

Jam: Now I will try to not hit you guys as target practice, and by that I mean try to hit you –evil smirk-

Temari: Jam calm down, but you can't just kill them! They are the sibling and best friend of your favorite ninja!

Jam: UGH FINE! RUIN ALL THE FUN!!!

PB: Lets go for a walk through the forest of death for the fun of it!!!! –skips off happily-

Everyone follows for something to do. While in the forest of death out of the bushes pops…

Jam and PB: THE MICHEAL JACKSON LOOK-A-LIKE!!!

Orochimaru: WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!

PB: NEVER!!!

Jam: Okay then The-Guy-Who-Kidnaps-Little-Boys-To-Take-Over-Their-Bodies-Using-His-Freakishly-Long-Tongue!

Sakura: Aren't nicknames meant to shorten someone's name?

Orochimaru: Whatever, I am here for the boy! -pointing at Naruto-

Kabuto: Ask again later…

Orochimaru: Well DUH! I was just testing your ability to remember who we are here for. WE ARE HERE FOR THAT BOY! –pointing to Klipton-

Kabuto: Concentrate and ask again…

Jelly: What the…are you some type of magic 8 ball?

Kabuto: Signs point to yes…

Orochimaru:...him?...-points to Sasuke-

Kabuto: As I see it, yes…

Orochimaru: well then, WE ARE HERE FOR THE BOY!!! –points to Sasuke-

Sasuke: smooth…

Orochimaru: Was that back sass!?!?

Sasuke: So…bite me…

Orochimaru: -licking lips- okay!

Sakura: NOOOO SASUKE!!!

Orochimaru: Is that your girlfriend?

Sasuke: No, but I wish someone was…

Gaara: -death glare- she's mine!

Sasuke: Not for long!

Jam: This is true…

Sasuke and Gaara: WHAT!?!?

Jam: Gaara I like you, but only as a friend…Sasuke, you're still an emo duck butt…

Orochimaru: I think we are going to need some couples counseling –he suddenly changes into his therapy outfit and summons some furniture- Okay we are open for business!

Gaara: But Jam I think I love you…

Jam: But I only love you as a brother, the same as I love Klipton as a brother…

Gaara: -now angry- SO WHO'S THE TEME THAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND!!!

Jam: Well, there's kind of a list…

Orochimaru: I see so did this list include anyone that you are close to right now?

Jam: maybe…

Orochimaru: And exactly how long is this list?

Jam: -counting off fingers- umm let's see…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…5 people…

Gaara: You like 5 people more than me!!!

Jam: Well I'm not sure if I like them all more than you, but there are a few of them…

Orochimaru: I see would you care listing a few of these people?

Jam: Yes

Orochimaru: Too bad. Now list them!!!

Jam: Okay well in absolutely random order, there's Neji…

Gaara: That destiny freak…

Jam:…Shikamru…

Gaara: The cloud freak…

Jam:…Itachi…

Gaara: The eye freak…

Jam:…Kiba…

Gaara: The dog freak…

Jam:…and Kakashi…

Gaara: The perverted freak…

PB: Jam…how could you betray me?!?!?! –runs off crying-

Klipton: I'll go get her

Orochimaru: I see… Gaara you could be considered the sand freak…Jam I have noticed you seem to like the quiet guys and the majority of them are older than you…

Sasuke: WAIT YOU LIKE MY BROTHER!!!

Orochimaru: Shut up I am working here!!! Gaara, Jam, I think that for the best you should remain friends.

Jam: Okay…wait didn't I say that before?

Kabuto: You may rely on it…

Jelly: Will you shut up!!! Oh and Jam…

Jam: Yes little sis…

Jelly: Neji is mine –evil glare-

Sakura: We should get going, it's getting late.

Klipton: -who has returned with PB- I agree, we don't want to stay here much longer

Everyone: Bye Kabuto and Michael Jackson look-a-like!!

Kabuto and Orochimaru: Bye bye!!!

Kabuto and Orochimaru watched them poof away and they were going to leave but Orochimaru asked…

Orochimaru: They took the boy didn't they?

-LATER-

Temari and Kankuro are yelling at Jam…

Temari: Jam I can't believe you broke our brother's heart!

Kankuro: Yeah and now I have to suffer!!

Temari: He is probably going to go on a killing spree!!

Kankuro: Or worse!!!

Temari: And I can't believe you are crushing on my crush!!!

Kankuro: What she said!! Wait you have a crush on one of her crushes?

Jam: -blocking all the sharp pointy object being thrown at her- I had to choose the most violent family to be my best friends, didn't I?

Temari: come on Kankuro we need to go find Gaara!

But just as she said that Gaara walks in the room playing a DS, as content as could be.

Kankuro: Gaara, are you okay?

Gaara: NO 'CAUSE NOW YOU MADE ME DIE!!!GRRRR

Naruto: -who is just walking in- No need to thank me for keeping him from killing multiple amounts of people.

Temari: What is that?

Naruto; It's a video game; apparently they are games where you can kill people without actually killing people. Jelly told me they had them in the Hidden Village in the Clouds, so she got me one for Gaara.

Jam: Okay then, I am off to go make fun of Sasuke some more!! –skips out of the room happily, but she runs into Itachi-

Itachi: Hey Jam.

Jam: H-hey Itachi.

Itachi: A little birdie told me that you have a crush on me.

Jam: Is this little birdie also known as duck butt?

Itachi: Yes, but you are avoiding the question.

Jam: You never asked a question?

Itachi: Well I implied one, now will you answer!

Jam: But I don't know what the question is! –anime tears-

Itachi: Do you want to go out sometime? Like tomorrow for lunch?

Jam: Ohhh, sure!

Itachi: cool, see you later –walks away-

Jam: -watching Itachi walk away, and when he is out of sight- Sasuke, I am going to kill you!!!!!!!

**Yup so that is how I am going to end it for now. I am really sorry it has taken me so long to update, I have been really busy!**

**Shikamaru: You mean lazy…**

**Jam: I wouldn't be the one to talk pineapple head!**

**Shikamaru: Geez, don't need to be PMS-ing, I get that enough from Ino and Temari…**

**Jam: Ugh I would defend myself, but you would just have another snappy comeback ready…**

**Shikamaru: Actually I have around 34…**

**Jam: GRRR, well then you can tell all the lovely readers that 'troublesome' phrase as you put it.**

**Shikamaru: What a drag…review please…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yup we are back again with another chapter!**

Somewhere in the Uchiha mansion Sasuke was talking to Naruto and Klipton. In the middle of their conversation Jam's voice echoed through the halls…

Sasuke: I think I should go and hide now

Naruto: Why do you need to hide?

Klipton: Naruto you idiot, Jam is going to kill Sasuke for telling Itachi…well getting angry at Itachi and spilling the info at least.

Naruto:-still oblivious- What info?

Sasuke: Who she likes you baka.

Naruto: I knew that teme!

Klipton: I think you are both idiots…oh and Jam should be here in 5 seconds.

Sasuke: Shit –poofs off-

Just as he leaves the door bursts open showing an angry looking Jam. Wait angry is not descriptive enough she was furious.

Jam: WHERE. IS. HE.

Naruto: He just poofed somewhere, probably the last place you would look being somewhere Itachi or Kisame would be.

Jam instantly left Naruto and Klipton off to find Itachi or Kisame. Klipton sighed and glared at Naruto.

Naruto: What?

Klipton: You are an idiot.

xXxXx

Kisame for some reason was swimming in a huge fishbowl with his pets. Itachi came to talk to him and noticed he was playing with his clown fish Nemo.

Kisame: I found you Nemo!!

Itachi: Kisame what are you doing?

Kisame: Playing hide and go seek with Nemo.

Out of nowhere Sasuke poofs into the room startling both Akatsuki members, he is a ghostly shade of white.

Sasuke:-begging- Help me!

Before either one could reply you could hear her footsteps getting closer.

Sasuke: Oh no! She's coming!

Kisame: DUN-DUN…DUN-DUN…DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-**DUN!!!**

At the last DUN Jam nearly broke down the door. You could see her chakra around her as if she were incased in a blue flame.

Jam: Sasuke…

Sasuke: EEEP!!-poofs off-

Kisame: Jam cool off. What he do to you?

Jam: Shut it Shark Boy! What in the world are you doing?

Kisame: Playing hide and go seek with Nemo!

Jam: Isn't there a movie called 'Finding Nemo'?

Itachi: Yes…I think that's where he got the idea…Never have I ever heard someone call Kisame Shark Boy before -snickers-

Kisame: You just wish you had a nickname from Jam!

Itachi: Just like you wish you had a date with her tomorrow.

Kisame: Jam is this why you are angry at Sasuke?

Jam: Yes and no. I want to beat the living daylight out of him and give him a hug at the same time. But I am only going to do the first part though; don't wanna make Itachi jealous –winks at Kisame- well better go find duck butt –poofs off-

Kisame: She's got you whipped!

xXxXx

Sakura, Jelly, Jilly and PB were all in the front room in the Uchiha mansion talking when Sasuke poofed in.

Sakura: SASUKE!!!

Sasuke: Oh hey, do you mind hiding me from Jam?

Sakura: Of course not!

Jilly and PB: That depends, what did you do?

Jelly: NO GET THE GAY EMO AWAY!!! –makes a cross with her fingers and backs away slowly-

Sasuke: I am not a gay emo! And all I did was fight with Itachi about Jam liking him more than m---

Sasuke was cut off by PB and Jilly.

PB and Jilly: YOU WHAT?!?!

Sasuke: SAKURA SAVE ME!!!

Sakura: SASUKE!! –glomps Sasuke-

Jilly: Give me one good reason for Jam to not rip off your bal…SASORI!!!

As Jilly was threatening Sasuke, Sasori and Deidara walked into the Uchiha mansion.

Sasori: Hey little cousin!

Jilly forgot about Sasuke and went to hug her cousin.

Deidara: Do I not get a greeting, un?

Jilly: How can I forget you Deidara! –gives him a hug too- So what have you two been up to?

Sasori: I've been working on my puppets, and I've been thinking about going into entertainment when I retire from the Akatsuki.

Deidara: I found more exploding clay and thinking about selling explosives to terrorists when I retire from the Akatsuki.

Jilly: Don't tell me you are going to be retiring so early? Oh and I already guessed you would do that Deidara.

Deidara: We're not that old are we? Hey what did you mean by that?

Jilly: Oh nothing…

Mean while Sasuke, Sakura, Jelly, and PB are all staring in amusement and shock. What really surprises them is when Jam poofs in and crushes both Akatsuki members in back breaking hug.

Jam: How com I didn't know you were coming? –pulls away from the hug to look at them and let them breath-

Deidara and Sasori: We wanted it to be a surprise.

Jilly and Jam: -hugging each other and jump up and down- Did ya get us anything? Huh?

Deidara: -smiling- how could we forget to bring our favorite girls a gift, un! –pulls out two clay birds and hand one to each of them- These don't explode sadly, but if you ever get into trouble pour a little bit of chakra in it and I can come to help ya, un.

Sasori: I could never forget to get you girls a gift –pulls out two finished puppets- these are my best yet, so don't tell Kankuro.

Jam and Jilly hug them again and run off to take their new items to their rooms. Jelly Sakura and Sasuke are still standing there.

Sasuke: Yes I still have a chance to live!

Jelly: Wait I'm getting something…Sasuke, Jam is still going to kill you.

Sasuke: How do you know that?

Jelly: We can speak telepathically.

Sakura: You guys are going to be in for a surprise about what has happened in the last few days, you should go ask Itachi and Kisame about it.

With that the two Akatsuki members were off to find Itachi and Kisame. On their way up they saw Gaara playing a DS, Temari trying to figure out if a DS was good or bad, and Kankuro fixing his puppets and decided to stop by to talk.

Sasori: Give it up Kankuro; you'll never beat me with those out-of-date puppets.

Deidara: Yeah, and Temari, about the DS, the world may never know, un.

Kankuro: -jumping up to hug Sasori- They are not out-of-date!!

Temari: -jumping up to hug Deidara- I was thinking that anyway.

Gaara: NOOO!! How can I die!! HOW!!!

Temari: Did Mario die again or something?

Gaara: No, you killed me!! How in the world can you kill me!!

Kankuro: What in the world are you playing?

Gaara: Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution

Deidara: I know! Sasori and I aren't even in it, un!

Sasori: Why would I want to be in a game?

Deidara: Itachi and Kisame are in it, un!

Sasori: Speaking of them we need to find them, see ya later.

They leave the sand siblings but stumble across Naruto and Klipton. They seem to have been sparring and Naruto was angry that he was losing.

Naruto: You are cheating!

Klipton: I can't believe you still can't beat me and I am blindfolded.

Naruto: I bet you can see through the blindfold!

Klipton: No need to act like a gennin again. Oh and hey Sasori and Deidara –he said turning to the door with the blindfold still on-

Deidara: Wow you've gotten good, un!

Sasori: He's my cousin what did you expect?

Naruto: Does that mean you are related to Gaara?

Sasori: Yes my dad was the cousin of Klipton's and Gaara's grandmother had a brother who was my father.

Naruto: Can you go through that again?

Sasori: That would take to long, we are cousins. If you take the time to draw up a diagram you can see we are cousins.

Naruto: Oh I get it!

Klipton: Took you long enough, now can we quit this fight before you have to get into your demon's power to attempt to beat me.

Deidara: I think we should find Itachi and Kisame now…

They left right as Naruto charged full force at Klipton with Ragensen. To bad Naruto missed as Klipton sidestepped at the last possible second so Naruto couldn't change his path. They walked into Kisame's room just as he was teaching Itachi his nindo…

Kisame: Fish are friends not food!

Deidara: What is with you and the 'Finding Nemo' movie, un!

Itachi: Save me from Shark Boy!

Sasori: -smirking- Shark Boy?

Kisame: You just wish you had a cool nickname from Jam!

Deidara: Isn't that from another movie?

Itachi: Yes, now Kisame stop torturing me just because I'm going on a date with Jam.

Sasori and Deidara: WHAT?!?!

Itachi: Oops, she's one of your special people isn't she?

Deidara: If you hurt her in any way I will make sure you won't be the one to revive the Uchiha clan!

Kisame: Sasori, aren't you going to threaten Itachi?

Itachi:-glares at Kisame-

Sasori: No because I know if Deidara doesn't keep his promise I will personally rip of his balls.

Itachi pales and Kisame breaks out into a hysterical fit. Sasuke suddenly crashes through the wall, and they all stare at him.

Sasuke: She's coming!!!

Jam: Sasuke!! Get your gay little emo butt over here so I can kill you!!!

Jam walks into the room glaring at Sasuke. She notices other people out of the corner of her eye and glares at them, well that is until she realizes who it is…

Jam: Umm…hi guys…

Kisame just laughs even harder and starts to drown in his giant fish bowl. Deidara and Sasori are dumbfounded at your anger, Sasuke crawling away slowly, with fear in his eyes, and Itachi is just standing there completely emotionless, but slightly pale.

Kisame: GURGLE, GURGLE GURGLE!!!

Jam: Oh no!! He's going to attack!! Oh wait never mind he is just drowning…

**MUAHAHAHA!!! A cliff hanger!! Now you must wait to find out what happens!! Well to tell you the truth, I don't even know what is going to happen…-points in a random direction- LOOK…A DISTRACTION!! –runs away while angry readers are looking around confuddled-**

**Klipton: Well since she just ran away, I guess I have to get someone to say the special line…Hey look it's Naruto.**

**Naruto: Huh?**

**Klipton: Say the special line.**

**Naruto: OKIE DOKIE ARTIE CHOKIE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!**


End file.
